has been a little rollercoaster ride of emotions
a) because i discussed nationality (and my content lack thereof) with my mother and realized that, while her generation of immigrants fought to be accepted, my little generation of international kids (or so I believe) is happy with the blurred line they embody. the group of kids born one place, parents from another, grew up somewhere else ... etc. some people are rooted to a certain small town in cultures, beliefs, mannerisms, language, style, interests etc, and the rest of us (a newer generation) picks from various places on this earth to create the "self".
b) because i was so frustrated that i felt like a fourteen year old again. with my parents (WITH PEOPLE!) you can fight so hard to kill perceptions and prejudices about who you are (beliefs, choices, personality, race ...) and just when you think you've made the tiniest progress you realize that all your work was for shit because at the end of the day they still believe you are lazy, naive, spoiled, alienated, disappointing...
c) I saw Velvet Goldmine which made me so happy! but i was watching with my sisters which was trop awkward at times. especially when i had to tell the naana to close her eyes etc at the sight of ewan mcgregor swinging his dick to oblivion. what i love most about gender-bending cinema is that it opens up a world in which everthing is mixed, everything is a hybrid, everything is dirty and natural and sweaty, nothing can be categorized, there are no labels, no race no sexuality no nationality, no definitions, pan-everything. there is hair and lights and bad habits. oh sweet glam rock, oh sweet sweet bowie.
also i got:
the communist manifesto - karl marx
being and nothingness - jean-paul sartre
i was looking for man against mass culture - gabriel marcel.
and i am fighting a little bit with existentialism because of sartre's denial of the subconsciousness & human nature (not determinism, but human nature)
ack!
2 comments:
oh, self - personal identity. you fight over it, you cry over it or you die over it. just really hard to get over it.
on a less personal level, think we'll make our own personal identity, own special hybrid culture? the futute of cultures - antropolgist(sp) Wade Davis worries that we're too incline to the ideals of western civilisation rather than embracing our own cultures (i.e. the ones your parents have been brought up with, the ideals phil and I are exposed to) that existed for so long, teaching us the basis of their own unique philosophy.
I worry about being alone. I worry about being misunderstood or not understood.
your stuff about Velvet Goldmine - reminded me of bryan and his girlfriend's discussion on deconstruction. for something you can't categorise, you do. people do. that's how the world runs. maybe it doesn't need to be. but one can't think of a better way.
and there are also really bad highlights.
and an anthro class on globalisation, expatriates and identity construction which didn't run int he end :(
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