Suburban New York City

Oh the things I need to do, I never do. I have all my hopes and fears vested in a thermos full of coffee and the power not to sleep. I like movies that make me feel a little dirty. I also like the south. A lot. I am a girl in New York City wishing I could spend a little part of my life in Tennessee. In Memphis. No. In Nashville. In a nothing place. The quiet sound of suburbia. Nothing and yet everything. Full of people trying to burn in a vacuum, people looking to fly. Frustration hidden in the hum of silence. That's where art is born. That's where I wanna be. For a little while at least.

So today I've been useless once again. I'm wasting the prime of my life. I'm in college. This means I can write all day and study film and literature all night (or vise versa) on my parents' money. I can be a starving artist without the starving part. I can be.

And this is what 'being' is like for me:
1. Force myself out of bed at 12pm because I NEED to get my act together and get my essays done
2. Laundry
3. Bank to see if my debit card came in (it didn't)
4. duane reade for cotton balls
5. computer (I WON THE MANDOLIN, btw! ... now all I need to do is pay... see #3)
6. turkey-shoot (interview) @ spec (I GOT SENIOR WRITER! Mixed feelings about it but yay! I guess it's cause there were 4 applicants for 5 spots ... nevertheless, yay!)
7. dinner (this was quite fun, discussing chinese and chatting with erica and her pals)
8. morton williams (groceries - mini-bagels, cream cheese, soy chips, tea - I'm already a housewife)
9. library (didn't work out)
10. watching Mysterious Skin, which was VERY EXCELLENT! But now I am looking for something to ... move me.
11. recounting my day on this blog.

Wow. Free-bird, instantly gratified, rushed, impatient, exciting New York living right there. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I need more frustration in my life. In Hong Kong I was stuck on an island which was a beautiful island but couldn't take me to places I wanted to go. Now I'm in the right place and everything is great and boring.

I am becoming a secretary, a housewife, an intern, an errand-runner.

Save me now. Frustrate me. I mean it.

I wasn't born to be happy.

But most importantly, I AM OB-SESSED WITH THE SOUTH! Everything, everything, everything ... style (not stereotypical cowboy garb - ew), culture, hair, life, music ... sighness.

The South, The 60s (and little bit of the 70s), mod mod mod, folk, mandolins, films, losing weight, Jesus-lookalikes, huge glasses, the counter-culture, dreams, short short hair, jagged fringes ... I could go on forever, but really, what's the point?

Lemme return the movie and get down to business.