Early Morning Cold Taxi

The Who Sell Out
is a work of genius. I want Petra Haden's full album cover.

Winning Tickets
Yesterday I won tickets to see Amy Millan today (8pm at The Bowery Ballroom). I didn't go and I really regret it now because she's friggin Amy Millan of Broken Social Scene!! Instead I went to the Bad Poetry competition which was not that great. Not a good day. It began with classes and essays, and it ended with rain and roti roll.

I hope there is hope for the weekend.

Money Matters
I am just going to read the Bible for Lit Hum and sleep because I am too poor to rent a movie and every cent I spend, I spend with a huge cloud of guilt over my head. My parents gave me a lot of money this month (A LOT!) that has been usurped by winter clothes, a Kim's membership, buying housewares, my sickness, and my tendency to think in HK dollars (Oh cool! It's only 15 bucks!). All my parents' money is in a deposit of some form or other (with Citibank, Kim's, T-Mobile ... which adds up to over $500 alone). I know that I'm spending a lot more than everyone else because I'm buying everything from scratch, but I've spent almost $2000 since I got here and others have spent about $500. I just don't know where the money goes! And I tried so hard this month to not ask my parents for money because I feel so guilty about it, but along comes this sickness and the pharmacy won't acknowledge my insurance because I have no SSN = a lot of money spent on medicine (not to mention tea for my throat). I feel like such a financial burden to my parents because I really am. School fees, living in a different country, living in America ... it's all so expensive and I don't know where to go. Getting a job is near impossible and even if I did get one it wouldn't help to the extent that I want to. My parents keep saying that all I can do is work really hard, graduate, and get a good job - that would be payment enough. I don't think so. My parents have 3 children (and family in Ghana to provide for). I am costing so much money that I can see the strain and worry in their eyes but I am helpless. I guess that's what growing up is: feeling so guilty for taking money from your parents.

Next month I am keeping a spending journal. The money I can't account for this month is killing me.




If you haven't noticed, I AM SO HOMESICK!
Especially since I had time this weekend to really pity myself. I miss: Naana's pinch-until-you-tear-them-off cheeks, late night talks with Vilaa / calling her emo, dancing in the hall, bossing them around, my dad (A LOT), my mum (A LOT) - I can't even explain why I feel like a three-year old and just want my mummy and daddy and just want to give them the biggest hugs and just want them to tell me everything is going to be okay (when nothing is even wrong). I miss squeezing Naana until she was gasping for air and then trying to do the same to Vilaa but being pummelled to the ground. I miss Naana's bag with EVERYTHING in it, her timetable (always breakfast at 10 ALWAYS with a tray and chocolate milk, ALWAYS Totally Spies and Ginger and all those TV shows they sucked me into). I miss Vilaa's answer to everything, 'shut up' and/or evil eyes ... I miss being the oldest and yet the most childish and least reasonable. I miss tricking Naana into doing things for me and then trying to do the same with Vilaa and failing. I miss Vilaa getting pissed off because I was so lazy and never moved.

I wish Vilaa and Naana would get along better.

I wish we were all together the way we always were when our friends and schoolsand houses and cities and countries were changing.

Where are you Christmas?