lessons from life

phones = stress
i want to be in hong kong
film school = money
nothing to burn

life is so sluggish at the moment
and everytime i eat too much i feel my
heartburn.

this has been a semester-long
denial of heavy hands.

i am easing on down the road.

i often see my yesteryears and the friends who were affecting me when i was starting new york. but i am so different now, so fucking different. and it's scary to think that this is who i am and no matter what i decide i want at this time, in five years it will mean nothing to me. like journalism, or that novel, that book of poems, that play, that musical, that music career, that move to ireland, india, japan ... at 24 berlin & film will be nothing names at the top of a long list of yesteryears and i will keep psyching myself up for a nonexistent "future". this will never fucking stop. and i can't stop. because what am i to do? give up? i didn't come screaming into this world that way. but i am burdened with i will nevers.

PS. next semester:
CC (Contemporary Civ)
Frontiers of Science (finally!)
Intermediate Chinese II
Intermediate French II
Intro to Comp Lit & Society
International Film 1960-90

& project bluelight (so excited!)