rat race

my life is complete.
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angry stuff that's been festering
i find the term "self-segregation" ignorant and offensive (yes, offensive) because the word "segregation" implies not only a conscious decision, but a constant effort to separate oneself. why do people force the issue into a racial one when it is so obviously less political than that? did you ever think that muslims, asians, or gay people sit together because they have things in common? especially cultural things. everyone feels more at home with people who can speak the same language, or had similar childhood experiences, right? well if i was muslim i would feel a lot more comfortable around those to whom i didn't have to explain my hajib, no? regardless of race. i exemplify the non-racial nature of "self-segregation" because, when people i find out that i lived in hong kong, i get invited to the (quote) "asian" table. what is it about people? why must everything be a conscious racial decision, or a competition to pigeon-hole people according to their differences.

and in a similar vein, why do people focus on race when it comes to affirmative action (especially when it comes to black people and affirmative action)? do people forget that all other (american) minorities (asian, arab, hispanic, etc) are at an advantage? also, depending on where one is applying (say, howard university), white people are also advantaged. it's not this generation's fault that the top 20 schools in america are "historically white". and i would love to deviate from race because people of minority sexual orientations, gender, nationality, class (yes, class) and even sex (what many people don't know is that MEN are at more of an advantage because women make up a larger percentage of college students). all in all, these affirmative action "quotas" can be twisted to suit anyone. even if you are a white, straight, female student from a large and heavily represented state like california. also, we all know that a majority of "legacy" kids are the ones statistically disadvantaged by affirmative action (isn't the whole "legacy" thing affirmative action?). so why, when people meet a "below average" black girl at columbia do they call her affirmative action girl (true story) when getting to columbia for anyone meant some form of affirmative action in a world where grades and extra-curriculars can't guarantee you a spot in the 7.8% acceptance rate. i am not saying that no one got to columbia on their own hard-earned merit, but no one can say that anyone got there solely based on race (you don't think there enough excellent ______ students to fill the "quota"?). truly, affirmative action is a touchy and complicated subject. i would love to live in a world where people differences didn't have to be considered when applying for anything. but i personally love that i go to an intensely diverse school and it's definitely the greatest learning experience anyone could have, to learn about how other people live and accept it.

i think about these things before bed and they bother me, so i am here to write this down.