emerged yesterday braindead brain cells freezing squeezing everything, thinking. and then she said she saw and i saw and i sat and i mused, hoped that braindead breeding wouldn't leave me because i've been longing, i've been longing lonesome on islands since i was seven. and i do not want to long lonseome for four more long months. and i like the grasstime groping at nothing there. and i like the pressing pasttimes that sit on my shelf. i do not want them to sit on my shelf and i do not want to go. i want to stay stagnant because i am, i am hanging in that moment when i think i can and do not think i will fall this time (again).
but this is overkill
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