yes yes yes.
i am fifteen again.
angsty & angry and depressed and falling
and everytime they asked me what was wrong
words pricked on my skin
stop entering my fucking personal space
like you care. ahhhh!
no.
my counter: the smiling smile.
so easy.
and nobody ever asked again
until i broke it.
oh crass & regina & dear followill brothers.
bleeders.
it's too early and too late at the same time
and stuck between two layers of rock
(nagasakinightmare nagasakinightmare)
wishing i hadn't watched capote
and trying to counter blood with boredom.
on ebay again and pining over:
-doc marten boots currently $13
-pxl2000 currently $10
and fighting closing eyelids
looking for the longing
pressed between day and night
my mind comes on
and i see the world beyond spectacles.
i guess i can say i am opener now:
not pretending to be immune to the void
not encasing myself in wall.
but i am.
and i know it.
and admitting that to myself is what's different.
i am hiding.
hellohero herohello.
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1 comment:
crassier than ouf! coathanger crassness. abortion is stilll illegal here. my zine is growing much, glint and glow. nyshka is still mia. you'll get letters soon. driving makes me giddily excited perhaps a good thing that tis so long denied here (18! plus plus parental highwayswillgetyoukilled paranoia )
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