It's 11:11

99¢ stores are $1.07 after tax

Today I came across the world's best subway worker who let me in without paying because I'd gotten off at 1st Ave and then had to immediately go back in (i.e. waste of $2 if I hadn't met Mr. Best Subway Worker, love love). He let me in because I started tearing up when he first said, 'no'. I can't explain it, but the tears saved me & they just kept rolling til the train came along.

I'm waiting for my family to call me.

Today I:
- slept through my 9am wake up time
- woke up at 1pm to a call from Hoi Yee :)
- went to Brooklyn (Salvation Army, Beacon's Closet, Thai Cafe)
- deliberated shisha vs. UW paper
- rushed uptown
- am about to make my UW papers shine

I got Make Up The Breakdown & Elevator for a total of $15 (before tax)!!! Dance partaaaaaay!

Frustration
I was really surprised at myself for crying. I mean, lots of stuff is going on inside of me besides hormones but I never acknlowedged them because they're not 'serious' problems like a dying relative or cheating boyfriend or bankruptcy whcich can be validated by the outside world. That and they usually re-bury themselves after months of repression. But now that they've managed to dig out their own graves and show themselves in my tears, I'm starting to think about them again. I'm starting to think that maybe I am crazy and not in that insane artistic genius way, but seriously really not okay because I'm a listener and not a talker and I beat myself up for the slightest imperfection or mistake (they come often). I wonder what made me fight myself all the time like this, this thing called frustration. I really sometimes wonder why and pinpoint it to never making proper relationships and therefore clinging to my family who I have been torn from, or having a drive that ran out of gas once I landed on American soil, or many other things that I won't go into. I just don't know why I am like this or why I feel like this and I'm getting sick and tired of being euphemistic because this is a public blog.

Hello demon.

"You didn't have to do it but you did it to say that you didn't have to do it but you would anyway"